The first post of 2018

It has been a long time since i've written anything here, over 6 months at least, this could be last post for another 6 months, who knows?

I guess the most important update I have is that i'm driving now, I passed my driving test and I have a car, a car which my parents paid for but nevertheless I still have a car. I've lost count of the number of miles i've driven since August but it's at least in the thousands, possible 2000, somewhere around that number, i'd need to find my travel logs for work and add up all of the journeys. The car mainly has just been for work but it's still handy to use when I want to get around or if I something to do that requires me to travel and which I don't want to have to use the bus for.

Having a car has changed things in my life to quite a considerable degree. I bitched before about the money I was making when it came to work. Doing all of those hours and not getting paid much for it. Even though i've gotten a raise or two i'm still not making a whole lot of money but it's the driving that's making all of my money for me. All of those 100+ mile journeys make a difference to my pay check. I could give up supervising and still make more than enough money to make it worth it just from driving.

I honestly don't know how I feel about supervising at the minute. At the start I was in some rocky territory, i'm still probably in that territory though to be honest. Things could be going better, I could actually be getting some training for instance rather than just being thrown into the deep end and hoping that i'll come out swimming. I've already said to the managers that I felt like I was getting in over my head and that I wasn't comfortable with the position I was being put into and they've listened to a degree but I still feel like too much is being asked of me and I just can't say no.

Saying no shouldn't be so hard for me to say but it is. I guess i've always been that way, I have the want or need to please people or not to disappoint anyone. You would think after 29 years I would have developed a backbone but it seems not.