Throughout my long and illustrious career as a writer(joke) I probably haven't written with a goal in mind, I haven't tried to be informative, I guess seeing as I was only writing for myself there wasn't going to be much of an audience..but anyway, I think it's time to try and write for an audience in mind. Since i'm writing online there is that slim possibility that someone will stumble across my blog/journal, I would guess that they wouldn't stay for long seeing as all i've done in the past is complain and write about the same thing in some variation in every post!
I know I have more in me that just writing the typical crap like i've always done, sure I may not have the knowledge at the minute to be entirely comprehensible but I guess i'll get there step-by-step! If I had to look back on my writing from when I started nearly 10 years ago i'll bet that i've come a long way since then. I might have gone from writing like a 5 year old to maybe writing like a teenager or somewhere along those lines!!!
So what does interest me these days? I know I do jump from subjects/topics every so often but I feel when it comes to conservation/renewables/waste reduction etc that i've been getting more and more switched on, in the past I wouldn't have started at the beginning, I would have tried to gain knowledge from a more intermediate level when I didn't even know the basics and would then lose interest or fail to understand what i'm reading and move on to something different. I hope i'm not doing that with my current interests.
I know when it comes to renewables in the energy sector you can be bogged down in the hard science aspects of it but for myself i'm still just trying to learn the basics, knowing where we currently stand in our own country with changing to the more environmentally conscious forms of energy production and away from the wasteful fossil fuels is always a good start!
Friday, 2 November 2018
Friday, 17 August 2018
Another post of updates
I guess it's time for me to get back to writing again after yet another break!! I've had plenty of opportunities to sit down and write but i've been distracted and have wanted to do something less taxing on my limited attention span at the minute haha.
I've realised that I should be doing more with my limited free time from work. I should be more productive and maybe try and give back more to the community and maybe or should i say most definitely to my friends and family.
I've realised that i've been acting like a hermit and ignoring checking in with friends and family, something i've probably been doing for quite a long time. I guess I just have that kind of avoidant personality, yay!
I know i'm rambling but it's been a while so I think i'm well within my right to ramble and vent, it's one of my favourite past-times, it's one of the reasons why I got into journal writing in the first place!
Anyway....
I guess one of the biggest updates I have to share since writing my last post is the fact that i've started medication again for ADHD! It's still early days for me with treatment, I know I can't improve in life with medication alone. I have to try and work harder to set some firm goals and get a routine going again. It's obviously much easier to write about than to put into practice. I've written before about wanting to change for the better, I guess the medication is a new element to it, I know that I can't just act like before and hope that things are going to automatically change, hard work is required, something I struggle with doing haha.
I think I need to start keeping a notebook with me at all times and attempt to write important things down, i've made attempts at it before but they didn't last for long.
Setting the routine has and always will be the toughest thing for me to accomplish, I can start to commit to something and then completely forget about it or dismiss it soon after as taking too much effort or i'd make the excuse that I don't have the time, it's true to some degree but I know I can set at least an hour or so out of my day to try and work at things.
What else is new?? Hmm, oh yes, it seems like i've jeopardised my friendship with Kevin by not thinking for a second before I gave an honest answer about something important.... This happened a few months ago but only now do I know the extent of how i've hurt him. If I could have gone back to that moment I would have taken a second and really thought about how I felt, in reality I didn't, I rushed ahead without pausing to consider what I was going to say... I know I can't go back but I know if I could i'd take back what I said. The longer I leave it though the worse it's going to get for me. He could actually still think that I feel that way about him.
He said he felt that i'd only want to come and visit him just to take advantage of his hospitality and try and have a good time at his expense. That's not how I feel at all!!! I value his friendship more than anything else in the world. He has always encouraged me to open up and try new experiences, both socially and with learning new things. I would go to him for advice and he would always listen to me, almost completely judgement free lol.
I would hate to think that i've forever changed things between us. Yes we don't talk every week but we can always get back to where we were just from a simple chat. He phoned me a few weeks out of the blue and I really appreciated the chat we had, I wish I could just take the time to do stuff like that myself, I always feel like i'm intruding in people's lives whenever I do that though, I know that's not the case but I still feel like it's true anyway.
I want to just message him and clear the air once and for all, I don't want to continue to make him think that's he a bad person, I don't feel like that at all.
Tuesday, 5 June 2018
Weekends Away Part Two
In my last post I ended by rambling about the shopping I did in Dublin before my weekend really began. Hopefully this time i'll be able to put a lot more salient detail into this post and get past the first hour of my trip in Dublin.
After leaving St Stephen's Green Shopping Centre I did actually make it all the way over to Kevin's work, that 2 miles was such a hard drive... not really. I left for Dublin early because I thought the traffic was going to be bad in the city centre, that really wasn't the case at all, I was able to make the drive in about 10 minutes or so which meant I was quite early so I had some waiting to do before I could get to Kevin's house, it wasn't too bad a wait, I sat and listened to music while resisting the urge to take a nap.
It was well past my dinner time before I made it to Kevin's house!!! Sacrilege! I met Kevin's friends Emma and Brendan who I had met a few times before, the last time being up in Belfast last year, they're good people, Emma is very friendly and seems pretty energetic, as does her boyfriend Brendan, I can't say i've spoken to him much, even after the weekend we had together.
I made it Kevin's house just in time to order food in, it was actually perfect timing to be honest, everyone there was in the process of ordering food, I was definitely getting peckish, we had stopped at an off-license to get some essentials so I was well prepared for the weekend I thought was coming, drinking and walking about Dublin, how wrong I was.
The Friday night was fairly relaxed, I don't think I was in the mood to go out and go mad, that's just not me anymore. We had dinner while having a few drinks and talking about a whole range of things, the most important being the 'feud' with Fintan, Michael and Rachel which I thought was just a stupid drunken argument, how wrong I was, I apparently didn't hear the whole story, harsh words were said which I guess had been waiting to come out for a while, whether things have blown over or not I don't know, I could probably do a whole other post about what's going on but i'll refrain from gossiping which I think it would come off as.
It's definitely good to have a relaxing night in before any madness happens, tiredness was a factor with that decision, sure you can go out and have a few drinks when you're feeling a bit tired but I was in no way prepared to go on the rip, like I said, I just don't do that anymore. After dinner the PS4 was turned on, usually that means that the conversation has run out and things are getting quiet, but in this case it was a good call. I was introduced to the TV show Nailed It, it is the pinnacle of bad TV. Nailed It is an American reality cooking/baking show, the hook being that no one in the show can bake or cook, there were some successes so it wasn't a total failure, the thing that make it's a bad show was the presenter, a woman who felt the need to interject with stupid catchphrases. It's the type of show you hate to watch but can't turn off, we all found ourselves saying the catchphrases at appropriate times during the weekend.
Saturday began with a nice homemade breakfast, i'll always get fed well whenever I go to Kevin's house, you never know what's on the menu.
After breakfast the adventure began. I had to drive to Bray, where we would going for the walk. I was expecting a long drive, I had conflicting information on how long the drive would take, it only ended up being about 20-25 minutes so it wasn't too bad. I really don't think i'd ever want to do any longer drives in the Republic, I have enough trouble with long drives up north. Bray itself is a fairly small seaside town, reminiscent of Newcastle up north. I got the obligatory photo of the beach which I had to post to Facebook, it did get some good reviews, I have a career as a photographer if I want it.... ha!
We walked along the seafront until we got to the start of the walk/trail . I actually think the last time I was at the beach was Newcastle about 4 years or so ago, it had been a long time that's for sure. I do like the beach, I can't say I enjoy swimming in the ocean, we don't sea eye to eye, the fucker did try to drown me once, the feud will last for an eternity.
The weather was perfect, I picked a perfect time to go down, there was a cool sea breeze and you could see for miles.
The next day was where all the fun started. The long hike. It's thanks to this hike that i've gained an interest in hiking/walking but it was a killer to be honest, it wasn't something i'd ever prepared for and it wasn't something I was expecting. I'm definitely lucky that I went and bought a proper pair of hiking boots and comfortable trousers, trying to do Ticknock in jeans and a pair of trainers would be an irresponsible and very dumb decision, hopefully my friends and the other people who were with me would have told me that I didn't have the right equipment and it wouldn't be wise to take the chance to do the walk.
Fortunately I made the impulse decision to go to the Trespass store in St Stephens Green shopping centre and bought appropriate footwear and trousers.
The walk itself was interesting, the views were amazing, the only issue was the fact that it was tough and i'd never done ANYTHING like that before!!!! My first hiking experience and I walk up a big mountain in a place i'd never been to with friends, hell, I didn't even know what their experience levels were when it came to walks like this, we all could have been out of our depth but luckily it was a crowd of outdoors people, adventure seekers and intelligent and hopefully wise adults!
It's thanks to that weekend away in Dublin that i've gained a healthy respect for hiking and have picked up the hobby.
After leaving St Stephen's Green Shopping Centre I did actually make it all the way over to Kevin's work, that 2 miles was such a hard drive... not really. I left for Dublin early because I thought the traffic was going to be bad in the city centre, that really wasn't the case at all, I was able to make the drive in about 10 minutes or so which meant I was quite early so I had some waiting to do before I could get to Kevin's house, it wasn't too bad a wait, I sat and listened to music while resisting the urge to take a nap.
It was well past my dinner time before I made it to Kevin's house!!! Sacrilege! I met Kevin's friends Emma and Brendan who I had met a few times before, the last time being up in Belfast last year, they're good people, Emma is very friendly and seems pretty energetic, as does her boyfriend Brendan, I can't say i've spoken to him much, even after the weekend we had together.
I made it Kevin's house just in time to order food in, it was actually perfect timing to be honest, everyone there was in the process of ordering food, I was definitely getting peckish, we had stopped at an off-license to get some essentials so I was well prepared for the weekend I thought was coming, drinking and walking about Dublin, how wrong I was.
The Friday night was fairly relaxed, I don't think I was in the mood to go out and go mad, that's just not me anymore. We had dinner while having a few drinks and talking about a whole range of things, the most important being the 'feud' with Fintan, Michael and Rachel which I thought was just a stupid drunken argument, how wrong I was, I apparently didn't hear the whole story, harsh words were said which I guess had been waiting to come out for a while, whether things have blown over or not I don't know, I could probably do a whole other post about what's going on but i'll refrain from gossiping which I think it would come off as.
It's definitely good to have a relaxing night in before any madness happens, tiredness was a factor with that decision, sure you can go out and have a few drinks when you're feeling a bit tired but I was in no way prepared to go on the rip, like I said, I just don't do that anymore. After dinner the PS4 was turned on, usually that means that the conversation has run out and things are getting quiet, but in this case it was a good call. I was introduced to the TV show Nailed It, it is the pinnacle of bad TV. Nailed It is an American reality cooking/baking show, the hook being that no one in the show can bake or cook, there were some successes so it wasn't a total failure, the thing that make it's a bad show was the presenter, a woman who felt the need to interject with stupid catchphrases. It's the type of show you hate to watch but can't turn off, we all found ourselves saying the catchphrases at appropriate times during the weekend.
Saturday began with a nice homemade breakfast, i'll always get fed well whenever I go to Kevin's house, you never know what's on the menu.
After breakfast the adventure began. I had to drive to Bray, where we would going for the walk. I was expecting a long drive, I had conflicting information on how long the drive would take, it only ended up being about 20-25 minutes so it wasn't too bad. I really don't think i'd ever want to do any longer drives in the Republic, I have enough trouble with long drives up north. Bray itself is a fairly small seaside town, reminiscent of Newcastle up north. I got the obligatory photo of the beach which I had to post to Facebook, it did get some good reviews, I have a career as a photographer if I want it.... ha!
We walked along the seafront until we got to the start of the walk/trail . I actually think the last time I was at the beach was Newcastle about 4 years or so ago, it had been a long time that's for sure. I do like the beach, I can't say I enjoy swimming in the ocean, we don't sea eye to eye, the fucker did try to drown me once, the feud will last for an eternity.
The weather was perfect, I picked a perfect time to go down, there was a cool sea breeze and you could see for miles.
The next day was where all the fun started. The long hike. It's thanks to this hike that i've gained an interest in hiking/walking but it was a killer to be honest, it wasn't something i'd ever prepared for and it wasn't something I was expecting. I'm definitely lucky that I went and bought a proper pair of hiking boots and comfortable trousers, trying to do Ticknock in jeans and a pair of trainers would be an irresponsible and very dumb decision, hopefully my friends and the other people who were with me would have told me that I didn't have the right equipment and it wouldn't be wise to take the chance to do the walk.
Fortunately I made the impulse decision to go to the Trespass store in St Stephens Green shopping centre and bought appropriate footwear and trousers.
The walk itself was interesting, the views were amazing, the only issue was the fact that it was tough and i'd never done ANYTHING like that before!!!! My first hiking experience and I walk up a big mountain in a place i'd never been to with friends, hell, I didn't even know what their experience levels were when it came to walks like this, we all could have been out of our depth but luckily it was a crowd of outdoors people, adventure seekers and intelligent and hopefully wise adults!
It's thanks to that weekend away in Dublin that i've gained a healthy respect for hiking and have picked up the hobby.
Wednesday, 28 March 2018
Weekends Away Part One
My trip to Dublin at the weekend wasn't a typical one. On my previous visits a large part of my time was spent drinking alcohol or just walking around the city and seeing the sights. This trip was different though. For starters I drove down myself in the Fiesta, me, driving 100 miles non-stop into another country, into an unknown city... Yikes. That's what my thought process would have been just a few years ago for sure.
The drive down itself was uneventful, you can't exactly get lost, it's basically all motorway until you get to the outskirts of the city, then it's just main roads. It is still the longest drive i've ever done so far in the 8 months or so since I passed the driving test and got a car. Quite an accomplishment I have to say, minor to some but a big deal to me. The motorway wasn't the hard part though, driving into Dublin itself was a fun experience, I didn't exactly know where to go to park so I put one of the only places I knew into my sat-nav and drove there, the place being St. Stephens Green, a shopping centre in the heart of Dublin city centre, a place i'd been to before for my job.
I'm actually glad I actually stopped there to be honest, at first I just thought i'd be there just for a few minutes, that I would get in contact with Kevin and then drive on to his work an pick him up. A few days before though he had mentioned that if the weather was good we could go for a hike just outside of Dublin, something I had never considered doing before but wasn't opposed to. I took a look in a few stores for any outdoor clothes or shoes, I was going to give up before I saw the Trespass store by chance. Trespass is a well known retail store catered to the outdoors, I can't say i'd ever been any of their stores before but I was aware of them.
I basically bought the first pair of shoes I saw in my size, not a lot of thought went into that purchase. I didn't check to see whether or not they were waterproof or water resistant, I only tried one shoe on, I didn't walk about in them to see how the fit was or if they were comfortable enough to wear. I did try the trousers I got on and checked the label to see whether they were waterproof, one out of two isn't bad. I was also lucky that there was a sale on, i'm not sure how much I saved but it was probably a good a fair amount. I'm sure i'll come to realise how expensive good outdoor clothing is.
Like I was saying before I was sidetracked, I went into the shopping centre just to wait about for word from Kevin on where I was going to pick him up, I thought he had moved location from where he had been previously, i'd been to his office before so I knew where that was but I was unsure if he was still there, he was. I probably should have found that information out before I set off for Dublin, it would have saved me the time, I wouldn't have had the chance to go shopping though and looking back on my visit nearly a week later I don't think I would have had the chance to shopping when I got into Dublin.
I'll cut this post short for now and end here, thanks for reading everyone! Echoes......... Until next time!
The drive down itself was uneventful, you can't exactly get lost, it's basically all motorway until you get to the outskirts of the city, then it's just main roads. It is still the longest drive i've ever done so far in the 8 months or so since I passed the driving test and got a car. Quite an accomplishment I have to say, minor to some but a big deal to me. The motorway wasn't the hard part though, driving into Dublin itself was a fun experience, I didn't exactly know where to go to park so I put one of the only places I knew into my sat-nav and drove there, the place being St. Stephens Green, a shopping centre in the heart of Dublin city centre, a place i'd been to before for my job.
I'm actually glad I actually stopped there to be honest, at first I just thought i'd be there just for a few minutes, that I would get in contact with Kevin and then drive on to his work an pick him up. A few days before though he had mentioned that if the weather was good we could go for a hike just outside of Dublin, something I had never considered doing before but wasn't opposed to. I took a look in a few stores for any outdoor clothes or shoes, I was going to give up before I saw the Trespass store by chance. Trespass is a well known retail store catered to the outdoors, I can't say i'd ever been any of their stores before but I was aware of them.
I basically bought the first pair of shoes I saw in my size, not a lot of thought went into that purchase. I didn't check to see whether or not they were waterproof or water resistant, I only tried one shoe on, I didn't walk about in them to see how the fit was or if they were comfortable enough to wear. I did try the trousers I got on and checked the label to see whether they were waterproof, one out of two isn't bad. I was also lucky that there was a sale on, i'm not sure how much I saved but it was probably a good a fair amount. I'm sure i'll come to realise how expensive good outdoor clothing is.
Like I was saying before I was sidetracked, I went into the shopping centre just to wait about for word from Kevin on where I was going to pick him up, I thought he had moved location from where he had been previously, i'd been to his office before so I knew where that was but I was unsure if he was still there, he was. I probably should have found that information out before I set off for Dublin, it would have saved me the time, I wouldn't have had the chance to go shopping though and looking back on my visit nearly a week later I don't think I would have had the chance to shopping when I got into Dublin.
I'll cut this post short for now and end here, thanks for reading everyone! Echoes......... Until next time!
Thursday, 15 March 2018
Exciting news!!!!
My oldest sister came to visit for the weekend and she shared some exciting news, she's expecting a baby in the Autumn!!! I'm going to be an uncle!!! Uncle Niall, to be honest i've actually been looking forward to that title! I wasn't sure for certain that i'd ever actually be an uncle though, I didn't know whether it was something to expect from my sisters but I guess i've been proven wrong!
So in September there'll be a new addition to the family!! I'm actually quite excited about it to be honest, I think i've always wanted to be an uncle, it could be a test to see how I do around babies/children seeing as i'm not around kids at all. All of my cousins are grown up and they're having kids of their own but i'm not close enough with them to be a part of their lives. I see the photos but I don't know if i'd ever have the opportunity to actually see them, maybe it's because the the majority of them live in the country and i'd only get updates from them from my parents or just seeing it on Facebook.
I guess there's going to be a lot happening this year for us, some it expected like Helen's wedding and the weddings of two of my other friends weddings but now in September there'll be a baby!!
I really do need to book flights over to Wales now to see Fiona, I really won't have an excuse anymore, not that I had a legitimate excuse in the 6-7 years preceding. I could definitely be a better brother and I really hope I can be a good uncle to my niece or nephew, I just smiled saying those words so I guess it really is something to be excited about.
I'm looking forward to being able to spoil the baby and fawn over it, I never really knew I had that type of personality but I guess i've just never had the change to express that side of myself before. I guess we'll see how well I do with the new responsibilities at the end of the year, i'm hoping to be attentive and actually act like I actually care rather than just being emotionally unavailable, that might be the right term for how I act, apathetic could be the extreme end of the spectrum but I guess I could be further to that side than I want to be.
The first chance to see the baby in person will be at Christmas if not sooner. I wonder whether my sister will want my parents to be there for the birth or at least there to help out for a week or so whenever the baby does arrive.
Tuesday, 13 March 2018
The first post of 2018
It has been a long time since i've written anything here, over 6 months at least, this could be last post for another 6 months, who knows?
I guess the most important update I have is that i'm driving now, I passed my driving test and I have a car, a car which my parents paid for but nevertheless I still have a car. I've lost count of the number of miles i've driven since August but it's at least in the thousands, possible 2000, somewhere around that number, i'd need to find my travel logs for work and add up all of the journeys. The car mainly has just been for work but it's still handy to use when I want to get around or if I something to do that requires me to travel and which I don't want to have to use the bus for.
Having a car has changed things in my life to quite a considerable degree. I bitched before about the money I was making when it came to work. Doing all of those hours and not getting paid much for it. Even though i've gotten a raise or two i'm still not making a whole lot of money but it's the driving that's making all of my money for me. All of those 100+ mile journeys make a difference to my pay check. I could give up supervising and still make more than enough money to make it worth it just from driving.
I honestly don't know how I feel about supervising at the minute. At the start I was in some rocky territory, i'm still probably in that territory though to be honest. Things could be going better, I could actually be getting some training for instance rather than just being thrown into the deep end and hoping that i'll come out swimming. I've already said to the managers that I felt like I was getting in over my head and that I wasn't comfortable with the position I was being put into and they've listened to a degree but I still feel like too much is being asked of me and I just can't say no.
Saying no shouldn't be so hard for me to say but it is. I guess i've always been that way, I have the want or need to please people or not to disappoint anyone. You would think after 29 years I would have developed a backbone but it seems not.
I guess the most important update I have is that i'm driving now, I passed my driving test and I have a car, a car which my parents paid for but nevertheless I still have a car. I've lost count of the number of miles i've driven since August but it's at least in the thousands, possible 2000, somewhere around that number, i'd need to find my travel logs for work and add up all of the journeys. The car mainly has just been for work but it's still handy to use when I want to get around or if I something to do that requires me to travel and which I don't want to have to use the bus for.
Having a car has changed things in my life to quite a considerable degree. I bitched before about the money I was making when it came to work. Doing all of those hours and not getting paid much for it. Even though i've gotten a raise or two i'm still not making a whole lot of money but it's the driving that's making all of my money for me. All of those 100+ mile journeys make a difference to my pay check. I could give up supervising and still make more than enough money to make it worth it just from driving.
I honestly don't know how I feel about supervising at the minute. At the start I was in some rocky territory, i'm still probably in that territory though to be honest. Things could be going better, I could actually be getting some training for instance rather than just being thrown into the deep end and hoping that i'll come out swimming. I've already said to the managers that I felt like I was getting in over my head and that I wasn't comfortable with the position I was being put into and they've listened to a degree but I still feel like too much is being asked of me and I just can't say no.
Saying no shouldn't be so hard for me to say but it is. I guess i've always been that way, I have the want or need to please people or not to disappoint anyone. You would think after 29 years I would have developed a backbone but it seems not.
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